I have a healthy ego. I regularly am delighted by my talents (like knowing all the words to this song – just for you Ben), nod in agreement when people tell me I’m great (I assure you, this is a little more adorable and far less annoying than I just made it sound), and marvel at my genius. But people? I’ve got faults. Heaps of them. Truckloads of them. So many that you could stack them up, climb on top of them and touch the moon with your fingertips.
See? I wasn’t kidding.
September has been an amazing month but …READ MORE
I was 19 and working for a water treatment center one summer to earn extra money. I was hired by a friend of my parents and told that the work would be extremely easy. My job description fell under the vague category of “safety coordinator”. I was told to show up at the water treatment center at 6 am and to bring a lunch. I was hesitant about going, the only safety measures I knew were medical procedures I learned watching E.R- and I doubted anyone would need me to (or even let me) perform a tracheotomy with a bic …READ MORE
Today is just going to be one of those days.
So, today was the worst Presidents Day ever. Wait, I don’t technically get to celebrate Presidents Day, but my province had it’s own holiday but it doesn’t sound as cool. As some of you have already read (thanks twitter! For allowing me to share everything in 140 characters or less), the BEST part of today has been the fact that I found out someone got into my bank account and withdrew everything. So, if that was the best part, use your imagination to imagine the worst part and if you guess it involves TEARS or getting licked by Mickey Rourke …READ MORE
I’m searching to find the laugh inside me right now. After writing yesterdays post where I started off discussing my WORST MORNING EVER, I awoke this morning with the smell of dog vomit in my nostrils.
I’m dog sitting right now and it would appear that my 4 legged sidekick is fighting some sort of gastrointestinal bug. Because the entire house that I’m living in while I watch this dog, was covered with both vomit and diarrhea at 4 am this morning. COVERED. As in, there was so much expelled waste everywhere, I have to assume she didn’t do this on …READ MORE
Today I yelled at an elderly saleswoman who looked as though if she could have clubbed me and hidden the body, she would have.
It started out simply enough. I wanted to return a book. Two days ago, my brother bought me “Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi. I hadn’t really heard anything about it, but did a little research and found that he’s the same author who started the “swiftboat” movement against John Kerry. I also found that the book is filled with half truths and misrepresentations- including the idea that Obama might be doing cocaine as a senator, when …READ MORE
There were a few times in the last five days that I thought I was going to die. A few times I wished I would just die, and once or twice where I actively went looking for things that would put me out of my misery but alas- I’m still standing.
Remember last Friday I was driving 10 hours to read Shakespeare at a wedding? Yeah. I did that. Then I danced like I was famous, got pictures taken in front of the elaborate wedding ice sculpture and won $50 in the hotel’s casino at 3am with one …READ MORE
I never wanted to be that blogger who has a google reader number that’s closer to a thousand than zero, but here I am.
I never wanted to be the daughter who would avoid her fathers calls, but here I am.
I never wanted to be a teacher who uses stickers as bribes when she’s at the end of her rope and thinking of tying a noose, but here I am.
I never wanted to be the person who started off every sentence ” I’m so exhausted I can’t…”, but here I am.
I never wanted to be person who …READ MORE
Oh my stars, what a week it’s been. I’ve slept less, cried more and laughed harder in the last seven days than I think I ever have. I could fill you all in with longest post ever with thoughts so deep we all would need to wear rubber boots, but honestly? My brain is hurting and I need sleep. So instead, let’s do this prison rules style. Bring on the bullets!
There are two kinds of calls you can get at 1am- 1) A call from someone telling you that they love you and they miss you and they want …READ MORE
Sometimes life gets me down.
I wake up and my hair is flat and my legs are Sahara desert dry and all that’s on TBS are movies starring former WWE wrestlers.
And it makes me sad.
I haven’t even got thinking about issues other than.. you know, myself and the lack of credible day time television viewing. There’s actual tragedies going on in the world Like wars! And deaths! And *elections (that are causing me ulcers!)! And global warming! And the fact that the trend of ankle boots refuses to die!
And so I have two choices.
I have to …READ MORE