May 29th, 2009 in confession of the day, hey it's Friday! let's say something nice, I'm a lady. I'm a tramp., if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's almost like a meme, it's okay- you can skim this one, lists, man I'm such a girl, reinforcing stereotypes since 1981, this makes me sound dumber than i am, wasting time, when i say it anyway, women, you're skimming this one Five Truths That Make Me Question My “Girl” Status
1. I would rather attempt to read German car manuals for the next 10 years rather than spend an evening reading the “Shopaholic” book series.
2. I do not (even after repeated attempts) like yogurt. (I know this one doesn’t make sense but I just assume all girls like yogurt. I can’t explain it. My brain is ridiculous).
3. I have not spent oodles of time planning my imaginary wedding. In fact, the only thing I know for sure is that a) I do want to get married and b) I …READ MORE
October 7th, 2008 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 98% of me thinks this is funny, beauty can get ugly, oh dear, pretty hair makes me happier, something I won't forget, the one that nobody reads because of the title, these are the things that happen to me, Uncategorized, what do you say when you aren't sorry?, what the hell, women You remember Mallard don’t you? If you don’t want to read the Mallard chronicles (and I don’t blame you if you don’t, that title ‘Mallard chronicles’ doesn’t scream “MUST READ”), basically Mallard was this stranger who was working at the same school as me (who was wearing a mallard on her shirt, hence the nickname) who randomly came up to me and told me she didn’t like my hair. AT ALL. (The “at all” was actually something she said). She looked at me like I had just showered in the liquid found at the bottom of a dumpster. And then …READ MORE
August 11th, 2008 in disappointment, i can't believe i said that, i complain because I care, i might be addicted to tags, it happened this week, proof i attract crazy, seriously, travel, what the hell, when i say it anyway, who needs a self help book?, women I hate to say this, but I’m afraid sometimes my gender is insane.
During my 7 day trip, I did not meet a single friendly female. NONE. I met many nice men, but not a single nice woman. The girls I did meet-all fell into distinct and unfortunate categories.
I met the insecure, mean girls. The girls who spent 5 minutes at the bar with us smiling and then walked away to talk about my friend and I to other people- other insecure, mean girls. They only stopped talking about us when I walked over to them and was greeted …READ MORE
July 30th, 2008 in and now you might know everything, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, anti-ascot, beauty can get ugly, family, hello universe? I love you, i'm hot like fire, it happened this week, it makes sense to me, life lesson, people i like, pretty hair makes me happier, women So as some of you may remember, my mother and I recently got into a debate about ‘who was beautiful‘. I was more of a Natalie Portman/Angelina Jolie fan and my mom was more of a fan of Pamela Anderson.
We’ve since continued the debate. But before I bring you the latest installment, let me just show you what sort of judgment my mom has.
This picture here:
that’s me on the first day of kindergarten. You can’t see it, but I’m actually wearing lace tights- to match my lace and yellow coat (also sadly, not featured). I went …READ MORE
July 15th, 2008 in adventure, beauty can get ugly, blogs, brookem is awesome!, family, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, i might be addicted to tags, i think this would make her proud, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it's okay- you can skim this one, oh dear, people i like, this tag is for you Arm!, women My mom is a hoot. I get told this a lot. She’s fun, she’s loud, she has the best shoe collection of anyone I know. We get told we look alike all the time, though I’m more likely to wear pearls and she’s more likely to wear leopard print. Many of my shopping expeditions with her involve being forced to try on something fringed, fur lined or gold and in my worst moments- all three at once.
Wait- you are picturing my mom looking like that old woman from “There’s Something About Mary” now aren’t you?
She’s not.
Really.
She’s …READ MORE
February 19th, 2008 in and now you might know everything, anti-ascot, beauty can get ugly, brandy +mandy = bff?, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, famous people make for good gossip, holidays, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, is it weird this makes me cry?, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., music, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, women Today I listened to **Gardenia twelve times. I counted. Six times driving to the school (before you all smugly tell me you didn’t have work, I will say I didn’t either. I went in voluntarily to do planning. Because I’m saving up all my karma points for a new kitchen aid mixer.) and six times coming home. I listened to it once before I decided if Mandy Moore could take a run at being all angsty and filled with sorrow, then I could too. And let me tell you, I’m pretty sure by the tenth time around, I pretty much …READ MORE
The goal for this month is to work on becoming more high maintenance. This doesn’t mean I planned on starting a love affair with mink eyelashes or will now require the tears of an orphan to shine my shoes- I just wanted to spend a month really putting effort in. Thirty-one days of deep conditioning hair treatments, the second coat of nail polish, and lotion applied to all the spots I usually miss (elbows!). Thirty-one days of stretching before bed, re-evaluating the shape of my eyebrows, and becoming re-acquainted with the genius that is cuticle cream.
I’m seven days in …READ MORE
If you haven’t been keeping up (and it’s a shame if you haven’t), the Month of March was dedicated to “Women who have shaped you”, an idea that a lot of great writers stole from Bre. (And if you haven’t read her last one, you should. It’s genius). Anyway, this is my last one for the month (I like to cut things close apparently).
You know how you have that one event that becomes the marker for your life? Everything happened either before or after it, and the day it happened is burned into your memory? Sometimes it’s a …READ MORE
(This is the fourth post in a series of ‘women who have shaped my life’. I got this idea from Bre, who has been doing a better job at posting these than me.)
When I get bored at work I will roam campus looking for a vending machine that sells something that is gluten free. Or just something that looks like it wasn’t made prior to Trudeau taking office (whoo ha! A little Canadian history reference for you, which means that basically it’s a reference that no one will get. Moving on..). And once I admit defeat and spend my …READ MORE
(This is the third post in a series of ‘women who have shaped my life’. I got this idea from Bre. Smartypants.)
I know what you are thinking. #3? This woman tortured her body to give birth to you and she’s #3? She endured months of pregnancy, hours of labour, and years of sullen teenage angst for you! She spent her youthful 20′s carpooling, counselling and cooking all for you, and she’s #3?!
All I can say is yes.
She’s #3 because I’ve been struggling how to describe her. I’ve thought of this in traffic jams, while waiting 3 minutes …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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