The week Bridesmaids came out, I trekked to the theatre. I’d heard the hype and eagerly sat in my seat like a giddy dork waiting for the lights to go down so I could revel in 2 hours of pure estrogen created hilarity. Instead of leaving the theatre on a high note, I left with a bad feeling in my stomach. Sort of like when you realize you ran a red light or you see pictures of the Olsen twins leaving their twelvefiftygazillionbajillion dollar apartments wearing something you threw into a dumpster after fourth grade.
Let’s start with all the …READ MORE
Dear students in my new class, I already adore you. Sure, you don’t need me in the same ways as my class last year but you still are so innocent and entertaining. While reading to you about Terry Fox, I looked up and realized that not a single one of you were playing with toys in your desk or were blowing spit bubbles. All 23 of you sat in rapt attention and a few of you looked close to tears as we talked about what it must have taken to get up each morning and run, like Terry did. And …READ MORE
The lucky winners of “A Girls’ Guide To Hunting and Fishing” by Melissa Banks are….
Laura and Amber
Congratulations! Email me your address! Now on to the new contest…
In the sixth grade, I remember my quirky teacher with the thick British accent and love for Laura Ashley flowing dresses talking about the idea of what piece of art would best represent our world. More specifically (and far less lofty), we were talking about what we’d send to outer space in a care kit in case aliens stumbled across it. I remember being absolutely stumped.
Twenty years later, I have …READ MORE
Alright. So first? Major credit to people who hold contests and know how to manage all the twitter entries, facebook entries and smoke signals people can send up in order to win. It took me roughly 32 minutes to figure out how to take a screenshot of the winner.
Let’s bask in this:
Are you amazed as I am? Probably not, but still. My mom (who still calls it ‘the internets’) would be pleased. Congratulations Rachel! Secondly, I’m fairly confident that no one is reading this because people always stop reading after they realize that they didn’t win. Because …READ MORE
March 27th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 20something, happiness, hello universe? I love you, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i should be a cheerleader, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, life lesson, love harder, right on my sleeve, the world according to me, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one The best part about telling the internet everything about your life is that when you decide to pull a Yoda and drop down some knowledge bombs people can’t be all like ‘what the hell? what does this girl know?” because well, we know that some stuff has gone down.
Not that tragic events or celebratory moments automatically give someone a free stamp in the passport of Life- but I do find that when life kicks you squarely in the ladyparts or the universe gives you an unexpected high-five, a person tends to do a bit more reflection. Sure, it usually …READ MORE
January 3rd, 2011 in a possible regret, because "guilt" is a dirty word, fingers crossed this works, help, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i might be addicted to tags, i need to spend more time on spelling, I sound drunk but I assure you I am not, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, love harder, quote of the day, self improvement, swimming in a sea of self pity, the title says it all, today has been crummy, when i ask you to do things for me, you're skimming this one You know what the weird thing is? (Other than starting posts with a random question) It’s the fact that right now, my world is full of extremes. I’m either locking myself in the bathroom at work with the taps running so people can’t hear me cry or I’m stifling a laugh when one of my students comes to school with a stuffed rodent and proclaims to everyone “Get over here and touch my beaver! I’ve got the softest beaver in the wooooooooorld“. The downside of course, is that a second after you catch yourself smiling, you feel guilty. Like being …READ MORE
October 3rd, 2010 in friends, H.A.D gets his own tag- that's love, i can't believe i have a football tag, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, let's still be friends?, question of the day, relationships, right on my sleeve, so sappy it hurts, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, you're skimming this one A few weeks ago, I was spending my free time putting together a list of reading strategies for a bulletin board to help kids comprehend what they are reading. (And yes, this is what teachers do in their free time. So before you start going all “JULY AND AUGUST HOLIDAYS” on me, I’m just going to stop you right here and tell you to suck it.) One of the strategies that most experts agree on, is that a student needs to be able to recognize relationships in writing and understand what these relationships mean. As seen here. Please note how …READ MORE
December 16th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, i know- we all LOVE him, i wrote this just for the picture, i'm like barbra walters, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, life lesson, lists, love or something like it, question of the day, reinforcing stereotypes since 1981, secrets, self improvement, the J.O.B., the secret project, the title says it all, these are the things that happen to me, this makes me sound dumber than i am, top 10, vague is vogue, what the hell, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, who needs a self help book?, you're skimming this one 10 Top Lessons I Learned In 2009 (this list is seriously incomplete but a top “23.5 Lessons I learned in 2009″ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. And if there’s one thing I’m about, it’s the ring).
1. Crying in public, sending out 80,000 resumes and begging will not get you a job. Neither will good intentions, great connections and a resume so sparkling it would make Obama’s look shoddy in comparison. A good job will find you when you least expect it. And everyone who says “the perfect job will find you when you are ready”, …READ MORE
December 2nd, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, blogs, confession of the day, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it's almost like a meme, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, lists, question of the day, right on my sleeve, self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, top 10, what i found when i went looking, you're skimming this one You know, you’ve done it too. You find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, click ‘bookmarks’ and scroll down to a famous blogger you have bookmarked. I’m not talking famous in your world blogger, the kind that your particular blogger group, seems to have crowned homecoming king or queen, I’m talking about famous to the ENTIRE world blogger. The kind of blogger who has one name- and everybody knows it. You scroll down to their too hip for more than one syllable name, and click- waiting for that feeling of envy and happiness to rise up inside you, like it …READ MORE
*So, I’m pretty much in love with my life right now. The one drawback to being this happy (other than the fact that it’s freaking annoying to hear about), is that it’s left little room for blogging lately. There’s been so much going on, I thought a fun way to re-cap a few of the high (and low) lights would be to do a True & False Day, rather than me use 89 paragraphs and enough run on sentences to make the grammar police weep.
I have listed 5 sentences below. 4 of them are true, 1 is false. The …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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