One of the absolute best parts of teaching young kids is that you are there for all those quotes and stories that come out unfiltered. Young kids don’t always put the words in the right order, they don’t care what others think and they are never politically correct. Which makes conversations with them one of the highlights of my job. So whenever we had downtime, whether it was eating at lunchtime or riding on a fluorescent orange school bus coming back from a field trip, I always liked to ask my third grade class questions. About love and books and …READ MORE
Today I gave my grade 4 class a writing assignment. They were to write a persuasive letter to anyone- on any topic. Some of my students wrote to their parents wanting an increase in allowance, some wrote to the school principal- begging for school to be extended (yes, I have THOSE students). But one student wrote to me. He didn’t write the most articulate letter, nor did he ace the spelling, but it made me smile like a lottery winner, so I thought I would share it with you.
Dear best teacher.
I am writing to you to tell you …READ MORE
The title says it all. Here are ten things I said today (and I only started writing them down at lunch- that’s how crazy this class was). I spent a better part of my drive home daydreaming of a workplace where no one put things down their pants while talking to me. I’m sure there is a GREAT dirty joke in there but I’m too tired to find it.
1. “If you keep talking inappropriately about Michael Jackson, you will spend your recess with me”.
2. “Show me that you are ready for gym. That means you need to get …READ MORE
Yesterday I spent the day with the Obama class.
We were working on a tough language arts assignment when one of my favourite kids in the class, Kyra- came to show me her work. Now, we were working at a grade two level so I wasn’t expecting precision coloring, but I could tell that this wasn’t her best work. Instead of going all Nazi-coloring judge on her, I asked her what I ask all kids who I know are giving a 30% effort because the other 70% of them is thinking about when the hell class is over. I simply …READ MORE
When I was in grade one, I had a reading partner named Claire. Claire and I would choose our favorite books and share a tired, orange beanbag at the back of the classroom. We would read each other the stories and if we tired of reading, we would make up our own versions, which would always include cotton candy and/or a magical unicorn named Rusty.
One day, while sitting with Claire, I farted. Claire first looked surprised, then she started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she told me I was going to hell. God didn’t let …READ MORE
What I said: “Adam is an interesting child.” What I meant: “Teaching your child has been the best form of birth control I could have ever asked for.”
What I said: “I’m fine” What I meant: 99% of the time when I say “I’m fine”, I mean it. That other 1%, “I’m fine”, really means “I’m so irate I can’t speak to you for fear that my wrath will burn you body to a crisp. Back away and avoid eye contact”. And yes, I realize here is when men say, “But how am I supposed to know which one you …READ MORE
Somedays I really hate parent bloggers.
Okay, that’s not true (I just needed a really controversial opening line and anything else my brain thought of involved B-list celebrities and was far too offensive to share), but honestly- I’m often pretty envious of parent bloggers. Having a kid is pretty much like having blogging gold on hand 24/7. Seriously. Every 2.8 seconds kids are saying something ridiculous enough that you could blog it and people would think you were hilarious. This is the same reason I get angry at bloggers who own pets. Or have significant others. Or you know, hobbies.
There are moments where I feel like I really am teaching. Surprisingly, they don’t happen often. Between the morning routines, the review, the paint spills, recess time, field trips, class presentations, if I catch a single glimpse of a child experiencing an ‘ah-ha!’ learning moment in a day, I feel lucky.
I got up this morning to teach one of my favorite groups of kids. A grade two class of eighteen very unique students who often make me laugh out loud. It was the block before lunch when one of my favorites came up to me and in a very …READ MORE
I read a lot of blogs about people who work in offices. People who have co-workers who steal their lunch, co-workers who wear too much perfume, who haven’t mastered email etiquette . I read blogs where people rant about their bosses, complain about their work schedule, moan about their cubicle size.
Which makes me feel guilty.
Because usually, I don’t have anything to complain about. Sure, a kid might smear glue all over his hands, wait for it to dry and then methodically peel it off- but is that really something to complain about? Not really. It’s sort of gross, …READ MORE
If you are someone who wants a lot of traffic on your blog, I will give you a tip: wait until tomorrow night and then write a post titled “Vice Presidential Drinking Games”. I guarantee your traffic numbers will explode- mine did.
The funny thing (and by ‘funny’, I mean ‘distressing enough I wished I had an unhealthy addiction to take the pain away’) about suddenly finding your blog getting thousands of hits a day is that it just increases the amount of people who will find your post and NOT like it. Who will hate what you’ve said, who …READ MORE